"You can't be fearful and grateful simultaneously. Gratitude is the antidote to fear." ~Tony Robbins
Just like the moon covered the sun last Monday, so too can sadness, loss, or anger eclipse the joy in our lives. It may come on all of a sudden with an unexpected windfall, or it may have been building for some time. Either way, the immediate result is darkness. The light is smothered, and we are left wondering if it will ever return. Thankfully, even during the darkest nights there is still enough light to see by. And windfalls create their own openings in the dense canopy.
Gratitude is the single most powerful tool that we possess in combating negative emotions. As humans we are wired to emphasize negative thoughts five times more than positive ones. This evolutionary glitch is well-studied in clinical psychology. Too many positive affirmations, and our brains begin to doubt their validity. Too few, and we lose hope. It follows that there is an appropriate amount of gratitude to have as well. Too much, and we become disconnected from reality. Too little, and the world becomes a dark place.
How do we have gratitude while remaining responsive to the warning signs of negative emotions? We must adopt a both/and mindset. We must be both grateful and proactive. Both of these take time and intention, though, and lots of it.
It is easy to fixate on the one or two things that are most out of balance in our lives and lose sight of the one or two hundred (or thousand) that are solidly in place. The next time that negativity begins to eclipse happiness, remember to look for the tiny flickers of goodness. The smallest amount of light can illuminate the darkness. There are few heavy situations that are not made lighter by shining a little extra gratitude on them.
But what about being proactive when addressing negative thoughts? That part will have to wait until next week.