Soulful Sundays: Judgement

"Judgement comes from experience, and experience comes from bad judgement." -Simon Bolivar

Dopamine is commonly known as the molecule of pleasure. Its levels increase in our bodies both during rewarding activities and in the anticipation of them. Dopamine is also the molecule of learning and is responsible for fine tuning our nervous system's response to external stimuli. When the outcome of our behavior is what we expected, our dopamine goes up. However, when the outcome is better than what we expected, it increases even more. When we are disappointed, our levels drop. This explains, in part, the process of adaptation to a complex environment. Every member of the animal kingdom, from invertebrates to humans, utilizes and has been shaped by dopamine.

Setting accurate expectations is difficult to master and comes with the accrual of experience from experimentation. One might argue that it would be better to have no expectations at all, but this is counter to biology. Approach behavior (the seeking of food, shelter, sex, etc.) is mediated by dopamine, and without such a drive we would die and/or fail to reproduce. Thus some degree of anticipation is natural, if not preferred. The expectation of a reward-- that encourages a behavior--to produce a result that then comes true--and inspires repeated expectations--is a crucial feedback loop of learning. If we are unable to make accurate predictions about how the world will work in the future, anxiety and a sense of powerlessness will result. However, not all anticipation is productive.

Negative self-talk and self-sabotage is, counter-intuitively, a product of the same dopamine pathway that we use for positive reward. By consciously or unconsciously, making excuses and then failing because of them, we are in a strange way meeting our expectations and reinforcing the pattern. Our ego plays this trick whenever it is threatened and the knot can be difficult to unravel. Untying it requires more than a little introspection and a shift in perspective. For any given failure, we can take inventory of the ways that we were responsible for creating the outcome. Responsibility can come in three separate but overlapping types: lack of experience/knowledge, lack of motivation, and lack of discipline. Outside of these three areas, failure can be attributed to bad luck and bad actors. No amount of preparation or willpower can forestall all tragedy.

The good news is that as our experience grows, so too does our responsibility. The bad news is that as our experience grows, so too does our responsibility. Evolution is always an upward spiral of gaining more and more wisdom and duty--just look at Jesus and the Buddha. With wisdom comes better judgement and greater control over life's outcomes. As we mature as individuals we learn the importance of developing value-driven intrinsic motivation, rather than ego-driven external motivation. Instead of chasing fleeting pleasures of money, power, and fame, we are called to lasting ones like love, learning, and integrity. In this way we can exercise our judgement in directing ourselves and others towards the highest aim, not in establishing ourselves as better or separate. The most sublime lessons are the ones we can never forget.